What influenced you to be an atheist?

I'm thinking, it isn't necessarily science. In fact, science itself doesn't really say, “There is no God.” Science is extraordinarily good at speaking to how things work, but it isn't particularly equipped to answer questions such as Why is there something rather than nothing? What makes consciousness possible? Why do we experience beauty? Is there meaning beyond survival? Why should anything ultimately matter? Why do very few people live according to the fatalistic statement: Nothing matters and so what if it did.

Those questions aren't necessarily scientific questions. They sit rather awkwardly at the edge of science, philosophy, metaphysics ... and perhaps mystery. I am sure they enter your mind too. And I wonder how you answer them for yourself.

Perhaps this is where the word curiosity is important.

Because, It is easy to find yourself in a closed system, whichever way you believe, unable to discuss with an open posture. The person who says, “God doesn't exist because I can't prove him scientifically” may be making the age-old mistake - a closed mind. Because there are so many other questions to answer.

But the person who says, “God exists because I believe he does, therefore I don't need to ask any more questions” has stopped exploring too. There should be room to have a respectful conversation based on curiosity and openness ... because there are so many perplexing questions.

But this could be where fear enters the scene, unnoticed.

Some people may reject God because the implications are frightening. If God exists, then perhaps we are accountable. Perhaps our lives have significance beyond what we can measure. Perhaps we are not the final authority in the universe. That's uncomfortable territory.

But believers can be frightened too. It's possible we don't really want a God who is mysterious, because mystery means we can't control the conversation. We prefer a God who fits neatly into our theological filing cabinet.

“God is mysterious.”

“Yes, but could you please explain precisely what kind of mysterious, on a scale of one to ten?” Human beings do love a manageable God.

There is another possibility worth considering: disappointment. Some people don't stop believing because they have discovered too much about God. They stop believing because they have experienced too much of the apparent absence of God. Suffering can make atheism feel less like a philosophical conclusion and more like an honest protest.

And then there are people who have encountered religion rather than God ... and the two are not always the same thing. A cruel Christian can become someone's argument against Christianity. A hypocritical church can become someone's argument against God. A praying person who behaves terribly can leave a very difficult theological question in their wake.

But logically, of course, a bad representative doesn't disprove the reality he claims to represent. If a terrible mathematician gets arithmetic wrong, we don't conclude that numbers don't exist.

But back to the big question. What if we approached the query without the need to win?

What evidence is there that there is a creative mind / a unifying force behind the earth and its ongoing existence?

Not “How can I prove it?” Not “How can I disprove it?” But simply:

Evidence.

And then the other question:

“What evidence is there that no creative mind exists and everything emerged on its own?"

Because once we become curious, the neat little boxes start getting rather untidy.

Science leaves us with astonishing things it can describe but cannot necessarily explain at the deepest level. Consciousness remains strange and unexplained in the scientific realm. The existence of the universe at all remains strange. Moral intuition is strange; wherever does that come from? Love is strange. Beauty is strange. The human hunger for meaning is strange.

Weighing the evidence does not prove God. But considering it may give us reason not to close the door too quickly. Perhaps the most intellectually honest position isn't certainty on either side but wonder with the door left open.

After all, if there is a God, I rather suspect He can survive our questions. And if there isn't God? Well, the whole point is mute, as is any meaning we may think we have.

In any case, the question is serious enough we ought to be curious enough to keep asking why this astonishing universe ... with its astonishing creatures ... who keep asking the questions ... exists at all. And it is very useful to know ... what made you into an atheist?